BTS of Party in the USA

Hi everythingg, (esp those who votes 🌸)

It has been 7 months I guess since my last post but thanks to your interest and enthusiast that boost me to share on this topic, or else it would be dusty for a year perhaps. Really appreciate it guys 💝
I know this might not be a suitable time to write something on travelling but finger crossed, we will be able to explore the wonders of the world.

So, a bit of disclaimer here, this post may not be relevant to all of you but I will try to make it as generic as possible so at least you can relate a few stuff.

I think I will start with my financial planning when I was in the UK. Since I am a Mara scholar student, I received £880 every month. On top of that, I worked part time in my uni which I could received around £200-300 monthly or even more if I worked full 20 hours per week. (£7-9 per hour depending on job)
My overall monthly expenses will be as below:

Allowance: (+) £880
House rent: (-) £300-350 including bills
Grocery/Food: (-) £100-150
Balance = (+) £380 (for shopping too :P)
Part time = (+) £200-400

But the essential point here is to keep some savings every month, I couldn't be rigid on my monthly savings as the amount is not fixed but I always oversee my bank account to be not less than £2k in the first year with slight increment towards the whole 4 years.

So every time I want to travel, I will make an estimation trip budget and make sure that after the trip, I still have £X amount in my bank account. If it turns out less, I will compensate it with more hours of my part time job. Can we still go on? lol

Alright, however the USA trip in summer 2019 was very much different than my Europe trips. I took a flight from London to New York and bus to Washington DC, then flight to Arizona and drive to California (LA and SF) and ended with a flight to Seattle and back to London from there. Usually for Europe trip, in average it would usually cost £500. Provided you go for Airbnb, hostels or budget hotels. So my total expenses for USA trip is approximately £2k. Okay don't get too shocked and pleaseee don't convert it to MYR.

USA Visa (get your visa first before proceed)
Flight tickets including inter states (make your bookings early)
Transportation (car rental, buses, taxi)
Accommodation (please survey, jangan malas!)
Food super expensive with freaking tax and tips
Attractions entrance fee
Sim Card maybe (but my UK sim, Three can be used in USA yeay)
Others :P
I got these for my souvenirs and some postcards. (jimat takkk)

But before that, a little bit of crazy funfact, I have been building a trust fund for either marriage (those times when this is still an option :P) or to repay my conventional loan scholarship. To be honest, there have been a lot of concern from people (especially seniors) when I chose to travel to USA. For example, "Eh tak mahal ke? Duit tu boleh pakai kawin"  lol please so I am terpanggil to justify my decision.

Since my family is coming to my graduation, so I want to keep some for their expenses in the UK. A little bit of plot twist is when Mara decided to cut our final two months allowance in UK. But still all good, no worries. And urmm I still went to Turkey for Easter break 2019 so yeah a bit of damage there lol. So I have been doing some Maths on my expenses pre and post trip; I left UK for good with £2552.50, so yeah for those who worry too much for me, it's okay, I got this :P (cukup tak nak kawin or beli kereta second hand or hmm bayar Mara hahaha)

Okay let's get back to real. Seriously, financial management during university time is very crucial. For those who are not under scholarship, but still manage to keep your savings, you guys are amazing! I understand perhaps my part time jobs are not used to cover my daily expenses, but for my leisure, so I could use it for travelling. (Also, tak guna duit rakyat utk travel ye) But I want to highlight some key points here:

1. Have a target or a goal that you want to achieve
2. Research your goal
3. Plan on how to achieve your goal
4. Work on it
5. Work hard, pray harder :)



On side note, your goal could be different than travelling, it could be ANYTHING! I love travelling because apart from learning the beauty of those countries, you can learn a lot about yourself too. 🦋

How to be a single adult? :P

Hi there, 

I knowww, it has been a year, a crazy roller coaster year. Guess I have been busy adulting?

So, in a year, a lot has changed. My status from a student to an employee; from settling down in Penang to KL; and oh well, from in relationship (read: complicated) to single. Which one that you're really interested to know? Neahh, I know already, but let just save the best for the last. 

Alhamdulillah, I own a master degree in engineering after infinity number of wanting to give up. Well I already told you how I hate this course but yeah it's done and dusted. I am really blessed to get a job in KL, even though it's totally different than my background, but I kinda enjoy it. If you're reading this, and you haven't finish your studies or still hunting for jobs, always remember, 

Just a short tips, make sure your cv is well elaborated and you khatam all the details in your cv. Research the companies that you're going for interviews and prepare well on 2 things, internship and project. Doa and tawakal, you're set! 

I had a dilemma when choosing to work in Penang or KL, well since my mom is in Penang so it will be much easier to look after her if I settle down in Penang. However, despite that, living with your family kinda makes you ignorant at the same time because all you could think, is work. From my internship experience, the amount of time spent with my family is limited, well physically I was there, but mentally and my soul is thinking about my workload. So here's your options:

1. If you end up living with your family while working, do not bring the work stress back home. Anticipate in what happening in your family for that day and contribute to the house chores.

2. If you're working far from home, pleaseee call your family as often as you could. Take a time off to come back and spend time with your family. 

So, this is actually the part that you are waiting for aite?

To start off the story, my ex cheated on me on my birthday, how amazing is that? Few weeks after that, we broke up, well he asked me saying that there's no more chemistry between us. Cliche. 

What to do when you're single, again?

Here's what I did.

I went on a winter trip to Iceland with my guy classmates and my girlfriend of course, but this is the first trip that I went with guys. Well being single, there's absolutely no drama and I am free to do whatever I want, without feeling guilty to a partner. 

I am more focused on my final year degree and being more career oriented person. Gotta thank him this? lol

So here's a funny thing. I kinda have a marriage trust fund lol that I saved from my 4 years of part time work. Since I'm single and God knows when Mr. Right is coming, I decided to yolo and used that fund. I always dream of going to USA, and fate leads me to joining this awesome gang. Well, the damaged done was quite severe but it was totally worth it. So hey Mr. Jodoh, come after I save up a bit okay? :P

And like what One Direction once said,

And never, never, never stop for anyone

Tonight let's get some and 

Take care 🦋

Work

Hi there,
Idk whether this will be beneficial or interesting but it is just something that I wish to share.

So I did my summer internship in INTEL Penang, under Device Development Group. So basically, they are the mastermind behind the chip designs. I was asked to prepare myself with Unix, Perl and Tcl language which I have zero knowledge in it. I bet neither any of the intern.

I was assigned to the backend design which is to place the verilog code from the frontend to the schematic layout. After a series of bootcamp and training, I was given a sequential task to help my team. Guess what, it's a coding task. 🌚

So I need to learn the language from scratch and familiarise myself with the backend tools and flows. Alhamdulillah, I managed to finish the task. Still can't believe it.

So here what's I learnt from this internship. As a total freshie, I have to seek guidance from people. So communication is the main key here. Things WON'T come to you, you have to find everything yourself. From day 1, you have to figure out and settle down asap because NO one is going to usher you one by one.

The next one is to be a fast learner. All the tasks given have dateline, so you have to get it done by all means. Trust me, you are most probably didn't encounter these stuff during university time, so new things have to be learnt in a short period of time. Do not feel challenged by your smart colleagues and work together instead. Try not get too stressful over it!

Last but not least, enjoy what you are doing! Join social clubs, sports, volunteering, team building, etc so you would feel less work stress and have a more balanced life. Things would never work out at the first place, so don't worry, keep going. I'm not sure whether this will work for everyone, but dressing up to work is good to boost the mood. 😆

By doing internship, I finally realised that university life is much more fun that working life. So, enjoy your studies while you can before a greater responsibility kicks off.

The only way to do great work is 

to love what you do. - Steve Jobs 🦋

Perfect

Hi there,
Are you tired? Because somehow I do.
Have you ever tried to be perfect? What's perfect anyway?

By Google definition, perfect is having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.
Ideal
Faultless
Flawless
The Best

I always have this kind of thought of how a perfect girl is. A girl who has beauty with brain, attitude and talent, all in one. As I have stupid hands, I keep on looking up to those who can play sports (netball/volleyball/badminton/tennis/etc), those who can make music (pianist/guitarist/violinist/etc), those who can turn blank paper into colourful arts, those who can mould the plain flour into amazing pastries and those who can style a dull shirt effortlessly.
Trust me, I've seen these perfect girls.

But talent is something that you are blessed with, skill is something that you can develop. It is all depends on your passion and interest. You don't have to be good at everything to be perfect, do you?

Don't ever try to be perfect just for someone to like you. Someone, who has a perfect heart will love you the way you are and feel that you are the most perfect person with all the amazing flaws.

If you are searching for a perfect person to be your partner, remember that someone with perfect qualities doesn't necessarily love you perfectly. And if you think people are looking for a perfect person to be their partner, so you decide to be perfect, forgetting the fact that perfection is different in every person's eyes. Didn't you feel your parents are so perfect when you were small?

Honestly, I have known some perfect guys with all those ideal qualities but end up being jerk who cheated and have skyscraper ego. (my friends' exes, not mine lol) How long will those qualities matter if the personality sucks?

People say nobody is perfect. But One Direction says,
"If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about,
Baby you're perfect"

So do what makes you happy and keep on following your dreams and passion. If you are perfect at heart, you are perfect for yourself.



If everyone is perfect, then you are no longer special. 🦋

Epiphany

Hi there,
Ikr, it has been a very very long time since I've posted.
How's life? Learn something today?

So today I learn that death is not really a sad thing, it is the reunion with God, your Creator. Have you ever really feel true happiness that lasts forever?

For me, everything about life is just temporary. All those happy moments are temporary. You got straight A for your SPM, and then you fail a subject in your degree. You finally graduate with a degree, then you fail to finish a task from your manager at work. You got a great bf/gf, then you break up. You marry your dream person, then you have constant fights. You spend time with your loved ones, then you lost them forever.

So why every time that worst moments come, we lost ourselves and drown with sadness and hopeless, knowing that the worst moment will come after each happy moment. Because that's life, people. Everyone knows every life will end. To the eternal life, where only happiness exists.



Can't we just enjoy the worst moments too? Can't we wait for the next happy moment? Can't we find a happy moment inside a worst one? Can't we just figure it out when the time comes? Can't we?



"Yes we can." - A cancer carrier 🦋

Two is better than one?

Hi, I promised to write something interesting right.   

So yeah, there has been some kind of questions that you can ask people on insta, and I got lots on "are you single?" compared to other questions.

At one point, I guess it is happier to say, I am not single. I have someone that I can share personal stuff, daily things going on, internal probs, sweet talks and stuff you do with your partner.

But, is being single really something bad?

What I wanna tell you here is something that I can validate based on my experiences hahaha definitely not everything is legit but yeah maybe you can relate.

Okay, before I was in my previous relationship, I swear I have no interest into relationship which leads me to having a principle that I will only initiate a serious relationship with the person who will marry me and whom I wanna marry to. Hence, the only previous relationship was started after he came to see my parents. Obviously, there was a flirting phase and crush on each other during the friendship stage. Hahaha

And when it doesn't work out because he suddenly gave up on me, without any reason that I knew, after all the efforts and memories, I was heartbroken mainly because I didn't uphold to my principle of having only 1 relationship in my life. To cut short, I have to move on after my attempts to save the relationship is a failure.

Honestly, after having one relationship, I tend to keep on wanting that special company while I wasn't interested on it before. (I've moved on definitely hahaha) I refused to have any relationship before I move on okay. And then when I came across with a great guy who likes me and makes me like him back, we decided to stay as good friends. Another situation is when I have a crush on someone nice and keep the feelings to myself. But at the end of the day, they found someone else to be their gf. Hahahaha

So guys, lemme ask you, what outcome are you expecting if someone you like, likes you back? If you start of a relationship, you might end up breaking up. If you remain as friends, you might lose that person to someone else. So ottoke? Hahaha

I'm not writing how to move on here, I've wrote it before in my previous post, but the biggest lesson learnt from my one and only failed relationship, is to love yourself more. I have to admit I love my ex to the point that I am willing to die for him. Hahahah cheesy enuf. But during the "move on phase", I focus more on myself, on doing stuff that makes me happy, on achieving my dreams and improve my skills.

I learnt that I can't let anyone especially guys to hurt my feelings, to waste my efforts and to let me down. I set my standards quite high so I won't easily fall for just the "fake first impression" of guys.

And then I really enjoy being single. I might not have someone specific to share my inner issues or someone to regularly profess his love to me, BUT I have freedom to choose whoever guy friends I wanna befriend with. (Read befriend not flirt okay) I strengthen my bond with my girlfriends and spend more time, effort and money with my girlfriends which is more, more and more worth it. I do not have to commit to keep on giving the best to someone nor that I have to maintain a good relationship which obviously involves consoling, sweet talking and cheesy stuff.

Starting a relationship is easy but maintaining it is super hard.

If you guys are in a relationship, kudos for maintaining it till now, (round of applause) but for those who are still single, yeah shout out to you guys who love yourself to the fullest!

I find that at this young age, (still not feeling 22) hahaha I guess if I do have a crush or if anyone has a crush on me, I do NOT see the beneficial outcome out of it. Definitely, both are NOT ready with the responsibility and stability of marriage, so what's the point of having a temporary relationship?

It's hard but I will take the risk that my crush will be lost to someone else, and accept it as fate. (Kalau ada jodoh, tak ke mana kan) Yes, (jodoh pun kena usaha) but let's work on ourselves first and then we can work on it, shall we?

 Remember, heaven lies at your mother's feet. You never know how long you will live and how long she will live, so why bother thinking too much on who you partner is, you might die at young age hahah while the legit paradise that you have now is your mother's happiness.

Some people are just meant to be good friends but not good partners. Sincerely, my ex was really a good friend of mine. I would say, marry but do NOT date your best/close friend because if you break up, you will lose both friend and partner.

"Jodoh itu juga rezeki. Kalau ada, ada. Kalau takda, rezeki lain pasti ada. Yang penting, biar menuju syurga kita." - Acah

                            

If one is enough to make you happy, why need two? 🦋

Little do you know

March has ended yay!!

Little did you know, March is the most painful month for me. I maybe shouldn't write about this or not that I want you to be sympathised with me but this is something I want you to know. There are a few people who judged my decision during that time so I'm not hoping you to understand but at least you know the reason behind this.

26.03.2017

My father passed away of cancer. He was diagnosed early January, and we are all aware of it, but I never know which stage of cancer it was. I was shocked because he was totally fine when I last met him during summer break the previous year but Allah knows best. (takdir Tuhan siapa yang tahu kan) I didn't know he was already in stage 4, and there's nothing they can do about it. But, my family still did whatever efforts that we could for his recovery. I didn't know that he was that weak and was a bit bedridden in early March, all I know was he went to the hospital regularly for treatment. I am not a good daughter ay, I didn't know things that I am supposed to know.

So I planned to go back to Malaysia during my Easter break which was 1st of April for 3 weeks. Normally students will only go back home during summer break as it is 3 months long. I know guys. I know. You don't have to keep on saying and wondering why I did not go back earlier before Easter break knowing my dad is ill. Sadly, they were just a very very few people who asked me why and were concerned to know the whole story. I was in a middle of design project that I have to work with my partner, a local student. Hence, I am NOT allowed to miss my labs to complete the project. (I can skip my lectures obviously but not my labs) I know guys. I know that I can ask for exemption to go back earlier to visit my father. I know I can just leave it to my partner to complete it, thinking maybe hey, she should consider my situation. 

BUT, my father would never want me to do it that way.

The only advice that he had been saying all this while, is to NEVER make people troubled over you. 

"Jangan susahkan orang, jangan minta-minta even dekat family sendiri selagi boleh usaha sendiri. Nak minta apa-apa, minta dekat Ayah." (He always being too Malay with me hahah)

So guys, if I wanna leave my responsibility in the project, I would definitely be troubling the department and my dear partner. (maybe my future too)

I was a part of Malaysian Society committees during that period. We were having a handover meeting to the new committees on 25th March 2017 and annual dinner on 26th March 2017. I was also a part of Skills and Career for Youth committee and I was the one responsible looking for interviewers for Career Day on 26th March 2017. There were a lot of meetings and procedures to organise the final events of our society. Again I know guys. I know I can exclude myself from organising the event and postpone my handover to the new committee of my post.

BUT, my father would never want me to do it that way.

We came together as one group in the beginning and it is unfair for me to leave my responsibility in the end. I know my committees members will be okay with me to have an exemption, but this will definitely add to their burden knowing some of them were even in senior year and yet still sacrificed their time to work out the events.

In general, I still know. In between family and responsibility, family is more important. The fact that I am the closest daughter to my father. The fact that you only have one father in this world. But, all I want to do is to make my father happy at the end of his life. And he will not want me to trouble people for him. I was in a dilemma for the whole month of March, and all I can do is praying that I can make it to see him during my Easter break. I prayed that he will never has to suffer that illness for every hardship that he has gone through for me, and Allah granted my prayers.

I bought this card for him a few weeks before Easter break but Allah knows best :)

So on 26th March 2017,

I was handling the Career Day event in the evening when my cousin tagged a Facebook post of my father loss earlier that morning. (UK time)

Yes, I didn't get any news from my close family and my cousin posted it thinking I knew about it.

Yes, I was the last to know among family, relatives, neighbours and close friends.

Well, I am not supposed to know until I reach Malaysia the following week because perhaps my family doesn't want me to handle it on my own.

So let's skip the crying and drama parts, cliche enough hahaha

I had to ask someone else to replace me for becoming the emcee for the annual dinner that night.

(you are my saviour, if you are reading)

I had to finish my 50% worth assignment which was due 31st March 2017.

I had to go to lectures and labs.

I decided to only tell my close 5 friends in Sheffield and my Malaysian Society committees.

Call me weak, I admit I was not ready.

When someone who happened to know this news, (not my closed friends) looked at me with full of sympathy, I finally know how the orphans feel when we look at them. I know I am not ready to tell people until I leave Sheffield for Easter break. Some people questioned why, yes, I am not as strong as you thought. I postponed the tahlil event for my dad because I don't think I can act cool if everyone comes to me and says their condolences. I wish I was stronger. 

I prayed for him to get better, but little did we know, Allah granted my prayers because HE knows he is much better in a place far away from me. I believe the fact that I am far from him during the time he was sick till he passed away is something that only Allah knows is better for me. I believe that by being far when it happened, all my tears and grief are a bit hidden from my mother so that I can be strong for her to be stronger. I believe that Allah has given me enough by being able to talk to him a few days before he passed away. I wish I could say more.

But, I know. I know I should do something for him more before he is gone. I know I should say my love to him more and how great he is to me. It will always be the biggest regret in my life.

Thank you for all the warm wishes and prayers from all of you. To be treating the same way is the best thing an orphan would wish for. :) 

"Sometimes, 

it doesn't mean you are not sad when you didn't cry;

it doesn't mean you are happy when you are smiling." 

First love never dies. 🦋

p/s: This is the last post that's a bit emotional for now, stay tuned next post will be more interesting and fun.